Our story

A mother, a daughter, and the truth.

On Penny’s first day of sixth grade, Conejo Valley Unified School District gave her a “get to know me” survey. Through what seemed like a simple, innocent get-to-know-you survey, she was introduced to the whole transgender ideology. Her transition started there and only grew stronger, as teachers agreed to keep her new name and pronouns from her parents. These are Tarin’s and Penny’s own words.

Penny smiling outside her front door on her first day of public school, wearing a yellow top, ripped jeans and black sneakers. — The first day of public school, sixth grade: the day of the “get to know me” survey. This is where the story starts.

Where it started

Why Stolen Penny’s exists

“Stolen Pennys was born from one mother’s heartbreak: my daughter was secretly socially transitioned by her California public school—name changed, pronouns switched, truth hidden from me—without a single notification or consent.”

Penny has since come out of it, and she wants to help other kids do the same. Stolen Penny’s is where parents and children can share what happened in their own school districts, and where anyone who wants to detransition, or to come out of that space, can find others who have been there.

Because every child is priceless.

In Tarin’s words: “It started on her very first day of sixth grade. Conejo Valley Unified School District gave Penny a ‘get to know me’ survey, and through what seemed like a simple, innocent get-to-know-you survey, she was introduced to the whole transgender ideology. She came home that first day and talked to me about it. The transition started with that survey on day one, and it only grew stronger from there.”

Tarin’s story Penny’s mom

My story is about my daughter who was socially transitioned at her public school. Having been a homeschooling mother for over a decade, I was forced to put my children in public school due to having to go back to work full-time after my divorce. While homeschooling, my daughters were your typical pre-teen girls; they were confident, secure, just your typical girly girls. Within a year of them being in public school, I started slowly seeing the impact of what was really being done behind closed doors. Both my daughters were riddled with anxiety, couldn’t sleep, started self-harming and struggling with suicidal thoughts. I particularly noticed my oldest daughter, Penny, doing different things like talking in a lower tone voice, dressing more masculine, wearing tight sports bras, wearing boys’ boxers, and cutting her long hair off. I started noticing pronoun pins on her backpack, books I didn’t buy show up in her room that were transgender-focused, and her art taking a very dark turn with satanic and witchcraft symbols.

When I would inquire about these things, she would shut down and go quiet. She became very disconnected from me, and she would often tell me that I just didn’t understand her anymore. This disconnect, I have now learned, is “by design.” I found myself going from having a close relationship with my daughter to watching her slowly pretend to be a boy, get dangerously depressed and completely shut off from me. After refusing to let her have transgender/pride flags at my house or affirm the transgender narrative, she chose to live full-time with her Dad, who was affirming her. I felt I had lost my daughter.

I prayed and was resolved to stand on truth. After some time and what I believe was a miracle, she wanted to start coming back to my house and also asked to homeschool again. Within months of her being out of public school, her anxiety, self-harm, and depression started to slowly subside, and by the grace of God, this past year, she gave her life to Jesus, learned of her true identity in Him, and is learning to accept exactly who God created her to be, which is a beautiful girl. It continues to be a fight of rewiring her thinking where lies have crept in. Many of the stories she is sharing, even here on this site, I have only recently found out about. We are still on a journey of healing, and it truly is a detox from the public school doctrine. If there is one thing I could tell parents, it is to never affirm the lie of transgenderism. Tell your child the truth because it is the most loving thing you can do when they are confused and believing lies.

— Tarin Swain

But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.’

Isaiah 43:1 (NIV)

Penny’s story in her own words

My gender confusion started my first day of middle school in 6th grade, the first friend I made told me she was bisexual and shared about her sexual experiences with another girl in the school bathroom. I then went to class and was asked to fill out an “about me” worksheet, which asked our preferred pronouns and names.

Concepts I had never considered until then. By seventh grade I chose “Penn” as my preferred name, keeping this a secret from my parents with my teacher. I started wearing a binder to flatten my chest. I began to feel different but couldn’t understand why. My teacher also recommended me a book about two gay teen boys that had sexually explicit content.

As I moved into eighth and ninth grade, the deeper I got into the transgender culture, the more I developed an anxiety disorder and could barely sleep. Throughout this, I was depressed, cutting, and having suicidal thoughts. These tendencies were common among my friend group since we all suffered the same thing. Classrooms displayed pride flags, signaling a safe space. One day, my math teacher noticed my gender-fluid pin. She promised to use my preferred pronouns, and asked me to let her know if they changed. She agreed to keep this from my parents. All of this happened during the vulnerable stages of my parents’ divorce, which made me an easy target when searching for somewhere to belong.

Entering tenth grade, I decided to switch to homeschooling due to my mental health decreasing and me wanting to get better. As I spent more time at home and doing school work at my own pace, my mental health slowly began to improve. It wasn’t until this year, my eleventh-grade year, that I met Jesus, switching my life around, bringing me out of the darkness and pain and bringing order back to so much chaos. I am still a work in progress but I now have hope for a better future.

— Penny

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

Psalm 42:1-2 (NIV)

Page 1 of a student questionnaire titled “Ms. Tuchman’s Student Questionnaire 2026-2027” that begins “Welcome to 5th grade!” Highlighted: “It is for my eyes only! :-)”, “* Indicates required question”, and question 4, “What pronouns do you go by?” with the options he/him, she/her and they/them. — Tap the page to view it larger. The highlights were added to point out the key parts.

It is still happening

A survey for 10- and 11-year-olds

Penny’s transition began with a “get to know me” survey on her first day of sixth grade. This student questionnaire was intended for 10- and 11-year-old children in a fifth-grade class at an elementary school in the Conejo Valley. It shows that this is still happening today.

Why this matters to our family
To many people, this may look like a small thing. To us, it is the gateway to what happened with Penny. Her transition started with a “get to know me” survey on her very first day of sixth grade.
Surveys like this introduce concepts to children who are far too young to have these sexual concepts put in front of them. It confuses them and teaches them that there are more genders than male and female. It opens the door, the gateway, to transitions in schools, whether social or physical.
A teacher telling children their answers are “for my eyes only,” on a survey they are required to complete: that is exactly the kind of grooming that opened the door to what happened to Penny and so many others.
— Tarin, Penny’s mom

Look at what is highlighted on the page:

“It is for my eyes only! :-)” The children are told their answers are for the teacher only.
“* Indicates required question” Questions marked with an asterisk must be answered.
Question 4: “What pronouns do you go by?” It is marked required, with the options he/him, she/her and they/them.

View the full page larger

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

1 Corinthians 14:33 (KJV)

Has this happened to your family?

You are not alone. Your story can help another parent, or another kid, find their way back.

Share Your Story Book Penny & Tarin